latest bipolar biweekly

Monday, December 29, 2003

bipolar meter: 8.888

Happy birthday + one day to Catherine! She has had many birthday celebrations this year (deservedly so) but yesterday was her actual birthday. We had a yummy dinner at La Caverna and then went to the ever faithful Iggy's for $2 Bud Lights.

Still, the babies were very cute and I got to put together a dollhouse for my niece and dress up her dolls so that was fun. I got great loot this year including a new digital camera, the Dirty Dancing special edition DVD, and a very soft cashmere hoodie which I will probably want to wear every single day once it gets to be cold again.

Now I am sick (I always get sick at the end of the semester) and have no energy to do anything even though I have this big freelance project which is way overdue already. At least I am in NYC for the week and don't have to run around in the car for awhile....

bipolar meter: 9.2

Somewhere in Maine, there is a lobster floating around dressed as Barbie. I'm not sure how a Barbie outfit could fit on a lobster. If only there was a picture...

bipolar meter: 9.11

This year, I am celebrating all of the holidays, and it is so much fun. I'm thinking of adding a pagan ritual to make things complete.

I arrived in NYC on Thursday night after pulling an all-nighter to finish my last paper for the semester (yay) and went to meet some out-of-town family at the HoJo's in Times Square. I have some great memories of HoJo's from when I was a kid--especially of their peppermint stick ice cream--but this place was soooo depressing. (Plus my brother-in-law was being a complete ass--he is now on my I-will-never-talk-to-you-again list and that list is mighty, mighty hard to get off of.)

On Friday, we lit the Hanukkah candles and I spun the dreidel a few times. Then we headed over to surprise Catherine at her surprise birthday party. There was dancing, and some crying, and fun with "worm"-shaped balloons.

Saturday was potato perusing at the Union Square greenmarket, holiday shopping, visits to the Central Park menorah and Rockefeller tree, and a viewing of Lost in Translation, which was great.

Watching the menorah being lit was quite an experience. They had to have a Con Ed truck on hand so the rabbis could ride up in the bucket and reach the top of the menorah. Getting them in the bucket took forever. Then they slowly rose to the top where they put oil lamps on the menorah and lit them. The whole time there was some guy on the mike narrating what was happening, while fun folk music played in the background. It was certainly not as polished or ritzy as the Rockefeller tree lighting, but had a charm of its own. Plus you didn't have to beat people forcefully to look at it.

Sunday, we made potato pancakes (so yummy) and then I headed back to Boston (with a stop at my mom's to decorate her Christmas tree) to see Harry Connick Jr. in concert. He was fabulous; the music was great and he was absolutely hilarious.

Today I spent 6+ hours shopping. I am almost done. So much holiday madness. I think I may need to take a nap with the cat.

bipolar meter: 9

bipolar meter: 8.22222

I've decided that I just don't like winter. I've tried to be positive about it for the past few years, but now I am going to accept it and move on.

Snow is beautiful and fun when you have nowhere to go and don't live in a city. Otherwise it is slippery, wet, slushy, dirty, and a pain in the ass. And then there is the cold. It prevents you from being outside and wanting to go anywhere.

Yesterday I managed to hit a jitney bus while trying to manuever in the barely-plowed streets of downtown Boston and now there is a lovely dent in the side of my car. (My latest theory is that my tires slipped on the snow and caused the car to fishtail back towards the bus. Believing that makes me feel better.) Stupid city for not plowing. Stupid jitney bus for being in my way. Stupid winter. I must move somewhere warmer.

bipolar meter: 6.7772

Wooo-eeee it's cold out there. I'm glad I have a new puffy coat to keep me warm.

Then I jetted off to NYC to meet part of Jesse's family. Hopefully I made a decent impression despite my usual extreme-quiet-shyness that appears when I am among strangers. We saw the bizarre but fun Triplets of Belleville and ate dim sum in Chinatown (the first time for me). Good times in the neighborhood.

bipolar meter: 6

Sorry for the lack of updates, been busy and not had much to share. Today I am off to the Cape to have Thanksgiving with six children between the ages of one and eight (and various adults). It promises to be fun and exhausting. I have them all making turkeys by tracing their hands tomorrow to keep them entertained (the kids, I mean).

Now I am trying to finish a work project so I can get on the road before the traffic starts up. It's probably already too late. Saturday I'm heading to NYC to meet the b-friend's fam so I'm debating whether a denim skirt is appropriate with knee-high boots or whether it will look trashy (my mom advised against the fishnets but then tried to be all Dr. Phil supportive by saying I should dress the way I want to and be myself. Okaaaaaaay.) I really dislike packing.

bipolar meter: 7.635

Ooooookay, so I finished my paper and now I'm not depressed anymore. Extreme procrastination is bad. Life is golden.

bipolar meter: 5

Winner from last weekend's Canstruction extravaganza. This was by far the coolest canstruction there.

bipolar meter: 9

London was so fantastic. I finally got to go on the London Eye which was very cool. We also hit the Tower, Parliament, the National Theatre, Trafalgar Square, the Tate Modern (cool building, mostly bad art), and crossed practically every bridge over the Thames. Noticed on the Peter Pan statue that Tinkerbell was looking up Peter Pan's tunic (pervert) and ran into the Lord Mayor's parade, where for some odd reason, all the dignitaries riding in the coaches were waving hand puppets. We wandered the streets and drank good beer and ate very well. Good times were had by all. I do love that city (although after living in Rome, I have to say that I do prefer Rome's warmth and mystique).

bipolar meter: 9

bipolar meter: 9

London-bound, baby, yeah. Be prepared for many photos.

bipolar meter: 8.98080

The weekend was great--visited the Marble Cemetery, ate a yummy brunch, trekked out to Brooklyn for Jami's birthday, and then hiked back over the Williamsburg Bridge at some ungodly hour. I finally made it back to Boston today where a giant pile of work awaits me. Yay.

But, I have the new Rufus to keep me happy.

So ridiculously happy lately. Does that mean something bad is going to happen? Or is this my reward?

bipolar meter: 8

The Halloween costumes have been chosen, and I'm on the hunt for a blue apron, a red skirt, and a stomacher so I can transform into the St. Pauli Girl. (I'm going the traditional route, not the "sexy" version where you are mostly naked. After all, my mother will be at this surprise birthday/Halloween bash.) I will be accompanied by Sam Adams, if I can find him a tricorner hat. Although Baltimore is not my ideal Halloween venue, I think it has the potential to be very fun.

By the way, Kill Bill is the WORST MOVIE EVER MADE. It was absolutely unwatchable, boring, and pointless. Do not see it.

bipolar meter: 6

This weekend I participated in the First Annual Flying Plastic Classic. Although we weren't the greatest frisbee golf players, good times were had by all. Brant entertained us by demonstrating "the koala," so we could appreciate firsthand what punishments were like in the army. Maybe I should join up.

Today I am sick and feverish and shivering uncontrollably, so a better update will have to wait.

bipolar meter: 3.33333322

bipolar meter: 8.88888

On Saturday we went apple picking, heard about the baseball craziness (I refused to believe Pedro knocked down Zimmer unprovoked and I was ultimately vindicated), ate at Snack, and saw School of Rock (very disappointing).

Sunday we went to two Open House New York sites. First was the Grand Lodge of Masons where we all wondered: what the hell a Mason was; and why there were "G" symbols everywhere (supposedly it stands for geometry). Then we hightailed it uptown to see the High Bridge and the associated water tower. After that, I undertook my second futile search for the Little Red Lighthouse. I swear, it doesn't really exist.

Monday was a visit to Chelsea Market and some lazing around by the river before I headed back to Beantown, furiously listening to the game the entire way. I'm already anxiously awaiting next weekend; school has just become a distraction from a world of good times.

bipolar meter: 6.45678

I've decided the problem with (most) Yankee fans is that they are bullies. Nasty, brutish, brainless bullies, aside from the two I went to Yankee Stadium with last night. Such bullies that I actually punched a complete stranger at the game yesterday, I was that full of rage. It was the first time I had ever punched a stranger and possibly the first time I had ever punched anyone in an angry way. It was this fat, steroid-sniffing meathead, screaming a certain thing which shall not be repeated on this pita in everyone's ear as they walked by, and I just turned to him and punched him on his upper arm as hard as I could. It happened without me even thinking about it. It was great. Sometimes it pays to be a little blonde girl. I was ready to throw down with everyone in the stadium (and I'd only had one beer) but luckily, Jesse dragged me away. I suppose it's payback for dating a Yankees fan. I was also dating a Yankees fan the last time the Red Sox played them in the ALCS. It makes for good times.

Why Sox fans deserve a win more than Cubs fans.

Seriously, how much more can we take?

bipolar meter: 8.88888

The huggiest team in baseball is victorious! Granted, I did have to lie facedown on my kitchen floor in the dark during the last game against the A's, but last night was smooth sailing. Tonight, I get to watch the game in person! Hopefully, my car won't be keyed by bitter Yankee fans.

bipolar meter: 7.9857

Read bipolar jan-sept 2003.

bipolar meter: 8.1111

Had another fabulous weekend in NYC, so much fun, so little time. Jesse very sweetly arranged for me to go on the insider's tour of the Washington Square Arch renovation and I climbed around scaffolding to come face-to-face with George Washington himself. It was so cool.

I'm off to Colorado today so there will be no new updates until next week, but there should be great pictures to share....

bipolar meter: 8.253

Back in NYC, I just can't get enough of this place. I might as well live here with the amount of time I spend here. Took the Chinatown bus for the first time and it was very, very pleasant, surprisingly so. And so cheap.

bipolar meter: 8.3333

bipolar meter: 7

Today, there is a two-headed boa in the East Village.

bipolar meter: 8.01

Not much new here--started school, working on finishing my summer project, passed a hearing test, blah blah blah.

bipolar meter: 8.88

After being back in Boston for three days, I decided that I had been away from NYC for far too long and drove back to attend Vanessa and Staci's wedding. It was a lovely event in a lovely park. The highlights were Catherine presenting the brides with a pineapple while wearing a dress with Clint Eastwood splayed across her chest, and Holly N. doing the worm in a thong in our hotel room (quite appropriate for a lesbian wedding weekend). I am sad to not be in NYC anymore.

bipolar meter: 5.6374

In the true spirit of procrastination, I have dusted off my HTML skills and done a mini-redesign of the pita. I hope you enjoy. The photographs at the top are intended to show the full range of bipolar's emotions (although I am missing a sad shot) and are not intended as an aren't-I-so-fabulous ego trip. But judge as you will.

Injury of the day: walking into a door. Luckily, my forehead took the brunt of the smack.

Clearly, I have problems this week.

bipolar meter: 6

Miserable day. Today I got to have the fun experience of getting my first cavity ever drilled and filled, and then visit student health services to get a referral to see an ENT specialist for my punctured eardrum. Hopefully I won't be deaf. Hopefully people will stop telling me that Q-tips aren't to be used to clean ears. (Seriously, if Q-tips aren't for cleaning ears, what is the point? I only punctured the eardrum because I was multi-tasking and accidentally knocked the Q-tip in with my arm. It wasn't because I was cleaning too vigorously.) But at least I didn't have a drill plunged through my skull.

bipolar meter: 8

Another end-of-summer, another goodbye to NYC. Maybe someday I will stay put, but for now it is time to bundle the cat up and hit the road again. Had a fantastic last weekend that involved a visit to the Met's roof garden, Thai food and the Hold Steady in Williamsburg, a ride in a brand-new Audi convertible, and an extremely entertaining time at P.S.1 in Queens. On Sunday, there was an impromptu pool party at my mom's house in Connecticut before Catherine and I began our journey to the greatest place on earth (AKA Wellfleet). I misplaced my camera cord somewhere in the packing frenzy so pictures will have to wait.

bipolar meter: 7.779

Blackout weekend is over and I'm struggling to finish this godforsaken project. I spent all day in the Bronx battling pyscho black squirrels, getting lost on trails with no markers, and dealing with angry parents who seemed to think that I could do something about the bees attacking their children. (Note to all: There are hundreds of people who work for parks. 99% of them do not do maintenance work. I would love to help you, but I am not a bee charmer.)

The weekend was great. Saturday we toured various parks including Fort Tryon, which is so lovely that I wanted to buy it on the spot and move into the Cloisters. Then burgers and beer hosted by the always gracious H&N, followed by drinks at the bar across the street. (I can't tell you how much I love the bar across the street. When I was hungry, I just came upstairs and snagged a bag of pretzels. When I was tired, I crossed the street and fell into bed.)

Last night I watched Jailhouse Rock with H-bomb and Catherine at Bryant Park. The storyline was ludicrous and the acting atrocious. Elvis looked pretty hot though. We also enjoyed marveling at the four girls next to us who were all identically clad in layered polo shirts with the collars up. I'm telling you, this 80s flashback fad is all wrong. And why two polo shirts at the same time? Dumb kids, it's hot out.

bipolar meter: 8.88

hour 1 When the power went out, I was alone in my apartment. At first I'm thinking, damn, a brownout. Then the power stayed out. My phone rang, and George told me that the power was out in midtown and Brooklyn. I started to get a little scared. Sirens were blaring outside. My smoke alarm was going off intermittently. George called back and said it was out all over the northeast (which later turned out not to be true). For the next hour and a half, I was unable to get in touch with anyone on my phone, causing me to get more and more scared. I drank the last beer in my fridge (had to save something from getting spoiled). Finally got to talk to George--who was for some reason the only one I could get through to--and heard it was not a terrorist attack. Then the fun began.

hour 3 Hundreds of people were walking over the Williamsburg Bridge towards Brooklyn. A bunch of us met up at Iggy's for beers (outside, because it was so dark inside) and then as darkness fell we decamped to Holly's to BBQ. On the way we made a stop at the sketchy bodega for beers--they were letting in two people at a time and escorted me back to the beer aisle with candles in hand so I could pick out some Bud. As I walked out, the security gates went down and the streets got really spooky. Every shop, bar, and bodega was closed and the only light came from the cars jammed on the streets.

hour 5 We lit the grill on Holly's balcony only to create a minor panic when people on the street stupidly thought the building was on fire. A cop walked over and yelled up that we had to put the fire out because the fire department had been called. The hecklers across the street--who were whistling at us all evening--yelled back that it was a free country and we should be able to grill. We managed to shield the flames for a little bit, and ate burgers by candlelight while listening to ridiculous reports on the battery-powered radio. People on the street were blasting salsa music and dancing. It was basically a big street party.

hour 7 Coming home was creepy. The halls and apartment were so dark and HOT. SO HOT. I hardly slept all night. They had said the power was coming on later that night. I got up numerous times to check. They lied.

hour 19 Took an ice-cold shower (colder than the Cape water in June) and wandered the streets in search of food. We ended up eating pastrami sandwiches at Katz's (which is on the list of things to do, so that was good) since it was pretty much the only place open.

hour 22 After finding out that my office building had power, I headed uptown to work (I know that sounds insane but it was hot, my laptop and cell batteries were dead, and I was bored). When I got there, my office was locked. I plugged my phone in and jumped in a car. I was so happy for the A/C. We drove around Harlem, saw Grant's Tomb (also on the list--amazing tile mosiac benches outside the mausoleum), and marveled at the people uptown who had power. Lucky bastards.

hour 26 Drove back downtown only to find out there was still no power in the LES. As soon as we crossed Broadway, the traffic lights were back on. So I hung out in the West Village (more blessed A/C) and drank yummy peach Bellinis.

hour 30 Finally, I got in touch with Holly and found out the power was back on in our neglected hood. I headed home, turned on the A/C full-blast and watched Lost in La Mancha (not enough Johnny and I do not understand why Gilliam wanted the French guy to play Quixote--you could barely understand what he was saying).

Now it's 2am and I am wired for unknown reasons. Needless to say, my project is so far behind at this point that I may never be able to leave NYC. But worth it for the strange, fun trip that it was. (However, I am very glad the power is back on. It was not fun when I was trying to sleep.)

bipolar meter: 6.5

Pro-cras-ti-nation, yeah, ooo-ooo, ooo ooo ooo, ooo-ooo.

They are demolishing the apartment next to mine and it is quite distracting. Drilling, hammering, general mayhem. The cat refuses to come out from under the desk. Clearly, I will be unable to effectively work on my project so I might as well update my pita.

Last weekend I was on the Cape for THE PICTURE. My mom had strong-armed us to agree to a group picture (15 in all) in matching colors (light blue and khaki). Even my 7-year old nephew said that it was going to be humiliating. (I guess my mom figured that it would be a loooooong time before there was another wedding in the family so we should take the pic now.) Disaster struck when the photographer cancelled and my oldest brother and his family didn't show up because they were "sick." We found another photographer and took the picture anyway. We looked pretty geeky in our matching colors.

I couldn't face another hellish, traffic-ridden trip to the Cape, so I took the train to Boston (hadn't been there in months, culture shock) and then hopped on the Provincetown ferry. The ferry was so much fun--I settled in with a beer and some peanuts, watched the Boston skyline recede, and eavesdropped on the gay couples discussing their tiny dogs. Traveling by boat is definitely the way to go. That's going to be the goal for the next place I live/job I have.

bipolar meter: 8.433

I have achieved five borough status! The trip to the fifth borough was definitely the best. Everyone should go on the Staten Island ferry--the views are spectacular, the trip is free, and they have cheap 16-ounce Buds. Once on shore, we checked out the new Yankee farm team stadium (so cool, it's smack on the water and they have a cow-shaped moonwalk), while asking police officers where the bar was that served creamsicle martinis (my bad, I didn't remember the name). Unbelievably, we found it and drank creamsicle and caramel martinis while listening to a great 12-piece big-band-music ensemble. (I stole the drink menu so we could recreate the martinis at home. Technically, they aren't martinis since they don't contain gin, vermouth, or olives, but I didn't care since they were so tasty.) Such a great trip.

bipolar meter: 8

Well kids, it's down to the wire here and I'm a little concerned about finishing my internship project on time. Maybe I should stop screwing around doing fun things and get to work.

But before I do, I wanted to say that I didn't intend to totally slam Seabiscuit (despite some people's interpretation). However, now that I've discovered that the director changed essential parts of the book--which is based on actual facts--to make the story more dramatic, I respect the movie even less, because the story is good enough without stupid embellishments. Just another reason that I should always read the book first, instead of after, as I'm doing now. The book is very good so far.

Being at my friends' house made me realize how much I miss my half-a-house in Boston. That was reinforced after I got home on Sunday night to a mostly dead, 4-inch cockroach in my bedroom. I was talking to Catherine at the time and she kept telling me to step on it but I do not step on bugs that big. So I put a tissue over it, then a cushion (my landlady's, payback for STILL not having DSL), and stomped on it. I threw it in the trash, only to discover 10 minutes later that it was still alive. (Guts came out of this bug but it was still alive.) Cockroaches are disgusting. I need to get out of this place. Happy trails!

bipolar meter: 7.879

Great Adventures yesterday. Senior skip day was never so fun. And the safari was even more incredible than Catherine had promised.

bipolar meter: 4

Signs you have been sick for far too long:

1. On Day 6 you wake up and say, "I can't be sick anymore." On Day 9 you wake up and say "kill me now." On Day 10 you wake up and say, "seriously, please kill me now."

2. Your mother is convinced that you have SARS.

3. You understand what it really means to take "cat naps." (Seriously, what cat takes short naps?)

4. When you go out, you must bring along tissues, two kinds of throat lozenges, drugs, and water.

5. Despite the fact that it is summer, you cannot be anywhere near the sun.

6. You wake up at 6:30am and watch The Grifters because you are in too much agony to try and sleep anymore (after waking up at 3:00am and praying for morning to come so you can go to the doctor, who is evil and tells you that you have a virus and she can do NOTHING for you).

7. You have become an expert on cold medicines.

8. You say merely one word and people back away from your obvious germiness.

9. You have to "sleep" sitting up because decongestants no longer work.

10. All you talk about is your illness. Your friends and family no longer answer the phone.

Last night I saw Seabiscuit. After I first left the theater, I thought "that was a nice movie" but on further reflection, I didn't really like it. It was schmaltzy and I never really connected with the characters. The most interesting character, played by Tobey, was left with all these loose ends. The best part of the movie was the relationship between Tobey and the horse, but it was given short shrift.

Lamest Landmarks in the world. Poor Plymouth Rock, I thought it was cool when I was 6.

bipolar meter: 6.999

I am still sick. Sick sick sicky. The latest theories: a) I have SARS (not impossible in my neighborhood); or b) I have some new cat-borne fever that I have now introduced to the human population (I recently discovered that the cat has been drinking out of my water glass while I am asleep. I have no idea how long this has been going on, but I assume we have been sharing for awhile.)

Speaking of my beloved kitty, I would like to wish him a happy belated 18th birthday. He may be moody, grouchy, and lash out at me completely unprovoked at times, but he is also loyal, cuddly, likes all the food that I do, enjoys having conversations (Maine Coon cats talk like no other cats--they make chirping sounds as well as meow), and always knows when something is wrong, even if the only thing he can do is sit on my lap and lick my face. We have been through it all together.

One benefit of my sick, drugged-out state is that I had the revelation that Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire" is a complete rip-off of REM's "It's the End of the World As We Know It." I have heard both those songs so many times but it wasn't until I was under the influence of Advil Severe Cold Formula that I could fully comprehend the patterns of our world and make the connection. It was a beautiful thing, indeed.

bipolar meter: 7.921

Having a cold in the summer sucks. DSL also sucks. Verizon and AT&T Wireless are absolutely terrible companies. Richard Russo is a fantastic writer. I disliked the sensationalist ending to Empire Falls, but loved everything about Mohawk. Public libraries are great. Also, despite all the buzz and good reviews, Prague left me cold (just like the real Budapest did).

The Red Sox are the greatest team in the AL.

bipolar meter: 9.1123

Activities have included: 1) going to the beach in Long Island (Long Beach, surprisingly lovely); 2) Siren Fest at Coney Island (Radio 4 rocked and I loves me that Cyclone ride); 3) drinks on the Hudson; 4) rambling on The Ramble in Central Park (we wanted to go rowing, but time was short); 5) smacking baseballs in Hudson River Park (at which I did not suck); and much more that I can't even remember.

I've now managed to go to the end of 6 subway lines after adding the F, W, and 7, and have visited 4 out of 5 boroughs after spending 3 days in Queens for work (an interesting experience). I'm gonna go all the way, baby! Wooooooh!

bipolar meter: 6.35642

I apologize for the lack of updates. My stupid landlady didn't pay her DSL bill for 2 months and so it has been shut off for the last 6 days. I am going crazy without the internet and now I'm sitting at Kinko's paying $.30/minute so no time for a real update. Off to the Bronx, I'll update when I can.

bipolar meter: 8

Pirates of the Caribbean was SO great. Johnny is the love of my life. No other man can ever live up to him. If I found his double, I would marry him on the spot.

bipolar meter: 6.880

Why can't I stay on the Cape forever?

Despite my loathing for 99% of reality shows, I am definitely looking forward to the finale of America's Next Top Model tomorrow night after dinner in Chinatown--I have never eaten there!

bipolar meter: 7.44423

The first part of 2003 is now archived.

I am horrified by the "new" Liz Phair, but I have to say that she is getting a lot of publicity off this crap. Sell-out.

bipolar meter: 7.99999992

Ah, the Bronx. How much I've gotten to know you. I've now managed to go to the end of the 4, 1/9, and D lines, which is a kind of a cool accomplishment (kind of?). Yesterday I was at the Bronx County Historical Society, which is in just a lovely neighborhood populated partially by men who like to scream obscenities at the top of their lungs and make violent gestures. I think I passed at least four of them while walking from the subway. At noon they kicked me out for an hour for lunch and since the area was so picturesque and the weather was so pleasant (a mere 99 degrees), I took refuge in a charming coffee shop for a bacon/tomato/cheese sandwich. Luckily the people working there were very nice and didn't swear or gesticulate threateningly. I think I am getting my fill of the Bronx. Plus, the Mister Softee truck was stalking me again.

Last night my mom took me to see Swan Lake at the Met so that managed to sooth my savage soul. It was fantastic.

bipolar meter: 8

Working from home is great. I get to wear my new loungewear, listen to bad radio, and snack on strawberries. And kickbox at noon.

When I found out I was coming back to NYC, I decided I wanted to do lots of new things I had never done before in the city. Yesterday I did three new things: took the "W" subway line--definitely not New York's finest--went to the midtown H&M after much cajoling by Holly (and mainly because I was waiting for the library to open but it wasn't as nightmarish as my first H&M experience after which I vowed never to go again but this time I bought a cute terry cloth beach dress so it all worked out)--and saw City Hall--much prettier than Boston's City Hall, but at the same time fairly derivative.

bipolar meter: 7.8809

Uuuuuhhhhh, in so much pain. Too much punch (and I know better, having made it myself). But all was fun at Catherine's cotillion and the rain stopped right as the party started, always a good omen. Today was brunch, a stroll around Tompkins Square Park (where we watched little dogs beat each other up), obligatory rest time (while I went to the gym--it wasn't pretty but I get an A+ for effort), burgers and cookies at Nate and H-bomb's, and viewings of Old School (not as good as I remembered it) and Sex and the City (sucky). A pretty good hungover Sunday.

bipolar meter: 7.000123

Sun+sleep+sand=happy bipolar. No more depression. Hanging out with babies is also good medicine. There's nothing like having your 3-year old nephew feed you fishies (i.e. goldfish crackers in non-family speak) and cover you with a towel on the beach so you can be "cozy auntie."

Plus, I got to spend another day working in my park in the Bronx. It's like field trip day everyday complete with a packed lunch of PB&J and a cup of peaches for an afternoon snack. Love it. If only the ice cream man didn't keep driving away right when I hear his siren song...

bipolar meter: 6.03332

I've decided that I've been fairly depressed since returning to NYC. I hope it's just the weather, exhaustion, change, fatness, lack-of-internet-at-work, etc. and not the city itself. Bleh. Good thing I have great friends and Lucinda to keep me company. And the cat. And Holly's kittens, who are so adorable! A weekend on the beach will do me good.

bipolar meter: 5.74958

Blessed internet access, how I missed you. Still don't--and probably won't--have you at work (interns aren't to be trusted), but home is good enough.

Today I got talked into taking a mini road trip to Jersey, where we visited Sandy Hook. I am a major beach snob, but it was a very nice beach with good sand quality and texture. The only downfalls: no soft-serve anywhere, and a TWO HOUR wait at the tunnel on the way back to the city. I recovered with a beer at the laid-back bar across the street from my apartment.

bipolar meter: 5

Made it to NYC on Sunday in a downpour. Today I am exhausted, cranky, and without internet access. Right now I am sitting in a sketchy internet cafe in Chinatown surrounded by screaming kids playing video games. Stupid Verizon. Stupid DSL. My cable modem at home never gives me trouble.

My apartment is very cute and the cat seems to be settling in. The best part has been being fed by Holly for the past two nights--I love the summer grilling.

Anyway, the screaming kids are killing me so I will have to write more later.

bipolar meter: 6.767676

This weather sucks. I hope we don't have another summer where the sun never shines. I have been pounding Diet Coke in some bizarre attempt to: a) stay awake in this perpetual twilight, b) prevent myself from snacking, and c) entertain myself by being hopped up with no place to go.

Went out to the Cape for Memorial Day. Friday night we caught a so-called "New York indie band" at the Beachcomber. The band was pretty good but I had a hard time putting back my plastic cups of beer since I had gone a little crazy the previous night dancing 80's-style for hours. I may have reached my limit of partying. The rest of the weekend consisted of doing chores for my mom--cleaning the garage, the closets, the basement, etc--but luckily I enjoy that stuff. Now I am stuck at my apartment packing and cleaning out the fireplace. Yes, the weekend is that much fun.

Bruce Almighty--it had a couple of funny minutes but was disappointing overall. A mush of comedy and preachiness.

The Weight of Water--loved the book, the movie was okay as a rental. Ridiculously gratuitous scene of Elizabeth Hurley rubbing her bare breasts with an ice cube. The movie also changed a MAJOR part of the modern plot which I think weakened the storyline.

Catch Me if You Can--liked this one but it should have ended 20 minutes before it did. Tom Hanks bugs me but he was good aside from his terrible Boston accent. Leo isn't aging very well. Very cool opening credits.

bipolar meter: 7

Classic conversation with my mom:

Me: Mom, do you think I've gained weight? Mom: Yes. Me: What?! Mom: I think you've put on a couple of pounds. Me: I can't believe you just said that. Mom (backtracking): No, it's good, you were too bony before. Me: Nice try.

Seems like the month of straight boozing has paid off. My guy friends have tried to convince me that guys like girls who are a little curvier and not scrawny, so I'm going with that. Stopping the booze would be much harder than dieting. Ha.

Went to lovely, lovely Portland last week to visit my friend's parents. We ate our faces off (I had three helpings of homemade apple crisp), drank beers, and I learned how to flyfish in the yard (our friend had fished on the way up). It's tricky to do but I did catch a bunch of dandelions. I think I would really like flyfishing except the removing-the-squirmy-fish-off-the-hook part. Then it was back to the city for the second years' graduation. So sad to see them go, but luckily almost everyone will be around next year. Now I am free, free, free! (At least for a few weeks.)

bipolar meter: 8.02

Well children, it's official: I am moving back to New York City. Third time's the charm! Granted, this will only be a temporary stay, but plans are already in the work for a summer of fun in the sun. Woo hoo! Hot times in the city!

bipolar meter: 8.2586

Best line of the weekend: my brother, sitting morosely on the deck at 10pm, insisting over and over that the dancing had started too early.

There were eggs benny, dark 'n stormys (so good), fried clams, hot dogs, splashing in icy water, discussions about friendster (quickly nicknamed "nerdster" by non-participants), debate about whether we could cut our own arms off if necessary, and lots of laughing about nothing and everything. Sometimes life is so good you want to dip it in peanut butter and eat it in little bites like a leftover chocolate Easter bunny.

bipolar meter: 8

mental capacity: 13%

physical health: 22%

injuries: minimal (aside from my liver). two blisters from my wedding flipflops.

As usual, I ended up in the party cottage. The cops came four times in two nights--threatening to throw us out the final time (boys were doing keg stands and throwing furniture)--but I was thankfully asleep for all four.

The resort was wonderful--they had an adults-only pool so guests could be in a quiet environment away from screaming kids. Unfortunately, we completely ruined this by showing up en masse and loudly discussing the debauchery, drugs, booze abuse, and random hook-ups from the night before.

The first night we managed to split the happy couple for a bachelorette/bachelor night--the boys saw strippers and we went to a dive bar that served the best BLT I have ever had and was populated by drunken, old, brain-dead-but-very-kind men. Then we all met up at the Safari Lounge (AKA the dead animal bar) where we managed to drive out everyone but one guy in a rastafarian hat who was highly entertained by our behavior. Cabs were in short supply at 3am so I volunteered to drive whoever could fit in the convertible back to the resort. Luckily we all lived. I miss my convertible.

The next two days are a bit of a haze. Suffice it to say that I laughed 97% of the time and only went through one short phase of searing anger--pretty good odds for me when I am heavily drinking.

Today I am hallucinating (seeing bugs fly around my apartment that aren't there), having heart palpitations, suffering from extreme thirst, and attempting to deal with the fact that I have to decide on my summer job and finish two 30-page papers, one 18-page paper, and one other project by Wednesday. At which point the debauchery will begin again, this time on the Cape/Islands. If I survive this it will be miraculous.

I am so happy for Jenn and Gunnar--their ceremony was so beautiful. They make me believe in love.

bipolar meter: 6.9333

I have developed an unhealthy obsession with the Romance Channel (mostly because it's easy to half-watch while I do work, partly because I don't have HBO). I basically cry at every movie, it is ridiculous. But so much better than writing about the stability of the medical office market in northern Massachusetts.

bipolar meter: 5

Having kind of a bad week. Last night I ended up drunk, exhausted, bitter, and angry. Fun times for me and those around me. Bad shit is happening to my friends here (heart surgery, break-ups), I got rejected from the internship I really, really wanted, and singlehood is getting to me. And I'm feeling old. My body hurts when I stand for too long (case in point--I had to sit down waiting for the White Stripes encore on Sunday night because my legs hurt so much). Wah. Wah wah. Tonight I stayed home to do homework and dry out (been drinking heavily for 8 days straight) but instead I'm watching bad movies with the cat in my lap. I'm officially a crazy old cat-lady spinster.

Ah, the good old days of living with a boy and hanging mirrors together. Very cute.

bipolar meter: 6.58

Yesterday we sat in the sublime sun (have the geekiest raccoon-eyes sunburn today) and watched people run. And run. And run. When our group got tired of clapping I rallied them by yelling: "if the runners aren't tired, we aren't tired!" (Didn't really work.) Then I had to say goodbye to my beloved New Yorkers but the party wasn't ended yet, oh no. Marathon Monday is not to be taken lightly. The next few hours were spent on my friends' roofdeck drinking beers and screaming showtunes, then more drinking and dancing downtown. Now I am tired and very behind on my work. Also, I got rejected by Malta. Crap.

bipolar meter: 7.80928

I am now the proud possessor of a scanner. Unfortunately, my laptop is about to fall apart--the screen has partially separated from the frame--and it completely sucks as there is no way to fix it. I am putting together a kick-ass presentation on houseboats at the turn of the 20th century. My new dream is to live on a houseboat in Tiburon for six months or so. Maybe someone will give me a grant to do more research. It's an amazing subject; there used to be houseboats all over the country wherever there was water--both middle-class pleasure boats and lower-class "shantyboats." I wish I could post some pictures but I might get sued for copyright infringement.

How can you not love the Iraqi Foreign Minister? My favorite quote: "I speak better English than this villian Bush." Not hard to do.

I also finally saw Possession but was a little disappointed. The modern lovers were miscast. Gwyneth Paltrow is so passionateless--although she was good with Joseph Fiennes in Shakespeare in Love--that you can't care about that couple getting together. Plus, they barely had any love scenes as compared to the Victorian couple. But I'm still glad that I finally got a copy after lurking in Blockbuster for weeks.

bipolar meter: 8.578

Saw the sun today, everyone was schizo-happy because we are so sun deprived here in the hinterland. Tomorrow I am heading to Historic Deerfield to learn about dendrochronology, which is tree science made cool. Basically, it's possible to determine the age of a building by comparing it to a set of trees that have already been dated by reading their rings. (Okay, cool only to me.)

bipolar meter: 8

Then it was off to NYC to spends lots of money. Brunch at General Store (good biscuits), many new compact discs (I cannot stop listening to Neko), and then booze and dancing at two horrible--and now B&T-dominated bars. As my friend T said, the LES is dead. Long live the LES!

Sunday we ate yummy crepes (reigniting my dream of opening a crepe stand on the beach) and went shopping for housewares. I ended up with a rice cooker because I felt left out. I want to move again! I also got to see Nate and Holly's cool new place (you can see the view from the balcony to the left). Catherine convinced me to delay my return to the tundra by tempting me with beer and cheesy potatoes. The potato was sooooo good. But after getting gypped by the garage (the LES is dead, long live the LES!), I had to get in the car and come home to my crazy cat. But at least he loves me.

And remember: God is like Tide. He gets the stains out that others leave behind.

bipolar meter: 5.4367

I woke up this morning to snow on the ground and freezing rain in the air. I hate this city.

Reason #408 I will never step foot in Texas again.

bipolar meter: 8.342

bipolar meter: 8

Today, gentle reader, is bipolar's birthday. And although she may not yet be thirty, she's pretty damn close. She's starting to think that she has only one year left to do all the crazy, zany, stupid shit she hasn't done yet. She's deciding at what age she will become a single mom if need be(35). She's contemplating what will be her next city of choice to live in. But most of all, she's happy and content with where she's at, even if it's not where she imagined she'd be when she was 13.

bipolar meter: 7

I found out today that my summer college hangout has burned to the ground. It's weird because I drove by it a few hours before it caught fire (after not seeing it for over a year). Later we lost power at the bar we were at because of the fire. I always dreamed of buying the place and reopening it, complete with the surfboard bar. I feel like my youth has burned up, perhaps fittingly so on the eve of my descent into agedness.

bipolar meter: 6.123456789

Not much new to report here. Went to Phi-town last weekend which was fun and made me realize how cold it is in Boston. Granted, the snow is finally gone, but it's still not warm. Plus, the cold I have had since my return from Florida has only gotten worse and now exhibits symptoms of bronchitis. But I'll live. Which is a hell of a lot more than some people are doing right now. Ah, the humanity.

Another hot, but beautiful place where I might spend the summer.

bipolar meter: 7

Absolutely hilarious proof that the Department of Homeland Security is completely pointless.

bipolar meter: 8.00000000000001

Happy Saint Patrick's Day and Evacuation Day (one of the fabulously made-up holidays only celebrated in Boston). It's lover-ly out today!

I woke up on Saturday with a nasty sore throat and now my chest feels all constricted. Asian pneumonia or common cold?

I wish the Laban Centre had built a gorgeous new studio when I studied there in college.

This goes out to all you singles out there: marriage does not make you happy.

I wasn't going to post this picture of the bride-to-be sporting a ribbon hat at her wedding shower, but I couldn't resist, especially since I was the one who made the hat. (It's a weird tradition--you take the bows from the presents and attach them to a paper plate, then the bride carries it as a bouquet at her rehearsal.) Other guests were unduly impressed by my hat-making--perhaps I should go into business as a shower-ribbon-hatter. I'd probably make more money than my chosen career.

bipolar meter: 7

It was heavenly: I lay on the beach, ate key lime pie, spent hours in the pool pretending to be a monkey (with my nephew--I'm not a complete freak), drank fancy frozen drinks, saw dozens of dolphins leap from the water next to our boat, and hiked through a wildlife refuge where the wildest thing I saw was a raccoon. And lots of lizards.

Read three books on my vacation, all of which I recommend highly: Atonement (a little tough to get into since the first narrator is extremely annoying, but it's worth it), Nobody's Fool (I love Richard Russo), and My Dream of You (Maeve Binchy-esque for the first half, but the end is very satisfying--especially appropriate for a person like myself who always feels the pull of going/moving somewhere new).

Yes, the pull. But I must fight it. For now.

bipolar meter: 7.024

The snow is falling yet again. It seems like the time to get on the plane to take me to warmth will never come. 16 more hours.

bipolar meter: 8.000000001

Speaking of first dates...

bipolar meter: 7.8

Posted some new pictures from the white trash party below. I love the worm ones. As my friend said: "Any party where a cardboard box gets thrown out on the dance floor is tops in my book."

Our history lesson today is on Mardi Gras beads. Ah, the Gras. Never had so much fun in my life as I did on Bourbon Street. Instead I am stuck in miserable New England, going on first dates and debating whether it's worth introducing someone new into my life. But thank god I will be in hot Florida in just a few days.

bipolar meter: 7.23

March is here, and today we have freezing rain instead of snow. A great improvement.

Hosted a wonderous white trash party last night, I have never seen people so excited about dressing up for an event. I guess we all have a little trash in our soul. The food was fabulous (deviled eggs and pigs 'n blankets of course) and the beer was appropriately bad (despite some losers drinking Harpoon instead of PBR). I made my famous punch in the limeade variation and one guest brought an absolutely vile-looking carrot jello salad. The true sign of success? Someone puked at 10:30 and there were many failed attempts to do "the worm".

Note the "pregnant" single-mom belly in the background.

bipolar meter: 7.68589

Just spent the day at my niece's first birthday party. Little kids are so great, they love you completely just for loving them and drawing a giraffe or two.

Finally saw Adaptation. This is a movie I was really excited about seeing because I loved Being John Malkovitch but it left me cold. The last third was a mess and I got antsy and bored about halfway through. Not a movie I recommend. (I'm embarrassed to admit that I rented Sweet Home Alabama recently, and although it was predictable, fluffy, and mindless, it was fun to watch. Sometimes you need that. Plus, I love Reese Witherspoon.)

In the car today I had on this Carly Simon mix tape I hadn't heard for years but obsessively listened to the fall after I graduated from college. It was a bad time for me, I was living at home and working at the mall and life just sucked. But all I could do today is laugh at the memory of that poor little 22-year-old, dramatically listening to a mix tape over and over on her Hi-Fi stereo. Does this mean I'm finally an adult? I just can't get that worked up about anything anymore. Ahhhh, maturity.

bipolar meter: 6.56

2 days trapped inside makes bipolar an unhappy girl. But today there was sun, and warmth (relatively speaking), and high tea at the Harborside Hotel instead of work. All is happiness and joy joy joy.

Pictures of the weekend are up at Catherine's, I'm still sorry we didn't make the peace rally but considering that crowds make me crazy, it's probably better.

Saw The Hours, it was wonderful and uplifting rather than depressing; everyone got to choose their own lives at the end, even if that choice included walking into a river with stones in your pockets. Love how Woolf scholars are up in arms, I did agree that her portrayal wasn't really in line with what I know about the Bloomsburg group, which granted is almost nothing (via crazyknee). But oh, Philip Glass, how I do not like your music.

bipolar meter: 4.089

Disclaimer: I am in a bad mood today. The following may contain extreme negativity. S.A.D. officially has me in its grasp.

Had a good time in the Big Apple this weekend, forgot my camera so I have no fun pictures to share. Managed to shake my ass, catch falling-over drunk people, and find Holly's contact on the skanky floor of Smithfield's. Man, I am talented.

Speaking of which, most people are dumbasses. Why don't they try a little common sense? If the apocalypse comes, whoever has a gas mask will be beaten and robbed by the guy who doesn't have one. My new favorite conspiracy theory (courtesy of my friend George): Tom Ridge owns a lot of stock in 3M.

Ah, those wacky Harvard Crimsonites. I guess they need to save the snow penises for the Lampoon.

bipolar meter: 6.995

My conspiracy theory that the government raised the terror alert to distract Americans from the fact that we are about to enter a war that few support seems even more plausible now.

Must get in car now to drive to city where my mother is convinced we are all going to die this weekend. Today is as good a day as any.

bipolar meter: 7.235

Hilarious war news of the day: plastic and duct tape will protect us from biological warfare. Imbecilic. Ridiculous. The equivalent of hiding-under-a-desk-when-the-atomic-bomb-hits. I'll be sure to keep a box of trashbags and a box of pop-tarts next to my bed, the cat and I can survive for days.

bipolar meter: 7

Woo hoo, snow day! My field trip got cancelled because it is snowing like a banshee here. It's been quite a long time since I have had an authentic snow day. Makes me want to run outside and make snow angels.

UN covers up Picasso to help promote war.

Does anyone else think that the terror alert has been raised because we are going to start bombing Iraq at any moment? The stuff they say is so ridiculous, everything is a target, anything could happen, we should have an emergency plan to contact our families--what the fuck do they expect people to do? They are the ones spreading terror.

bipolar meter: 6.990303

Do you live in a sucky sports town? Surprisingly, Boston doesn't come out that bad. Ahhh, my boys. Hopefully this year they won't choke in August. I hope I get the chance to sit on top of the Green Monster.

Saw Chicago, definitely enjoyed it even though I thought Renee Zellwegger wasn't that good, she can NOT dance. (And honey, gain some weight, you look like a pencil with a pumpkin stuck on top.) I don't get why they can't hire decent musical actors to be in movie musicals instead of finding some movie star and trying to make it work. Catherine Zeta-Jones worked, because she used to be a dancer and can actually perform. I won't mention Richard Gere. But still a fun movie.

bipolar meter: 7.6857

Sooooo, I took my beloved--but aged--kitty to the vet and she said he's probably blind. Which is just so freaky because he reacts just like he can see and doesn't walk into doors or anything. He even does circus tricks involving 2 foot leaps over chairs and stuff. I'm supposed to test him by throwing cotton balls at him but he is such a smart cat I know he'd probably just sit there and be like, what the fuck are you doing you stupid human? She also said he could have cancer because he coughed once (apparently very abnormal in cats) so I'm crying in the office because my cat has cancer and is blind and could also have hypertension which causes blindness but all turned out well. Except for the blindness thing, which she admitted she couldn't be 100% sure about because he followed all the cotton balls she threw at him. It's very strange not to know if he is blind, but I guess it doesn't matter since he's dealing with it fine.

bipolar meter: 6.987

Cool preservation adventure of the week: climbing four rickety ladders to reach the top of a church steeple and look out over Portsmouth (despite the dead birds and asbestos dust). The poor church needs some serious help though.

I so wish I had known about the State of the Union drinking game before it was on. Luckily I was in a bar drinking at the time anyway, so it's almost the same.

bipolar meter: 7.2876

Already planning my trip to the Florida Keys for a May wedding (at this point I'm way past the "three times a bridesmaid, never a bride" thing but being a bridesmaid is fun, probably more so than being married, ha ha). How could I not like a place known for Hemingway and an abundance of cats?

1) Wicked and Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister. Gregory Maguire is an amazing author, my favorite find in years.

2) Bel Canto

3) Kissing in Manhattan. I don't usually enjoy short stories, but these end up interconnected at the end.

bipolar meter: 4

Goddamn cold. Goddamn winter. Goddamn New England. Now I am sick because of this goddamn ridiculously freezing-my-ass-off weather. Hate winter. Hate it. All I can say is, thank god for fleece-lined pants.

bipolar meter: 7.2323

Is it me, or is there NOTHING on TV anymore? Scariest thing is that catwoman and I were both watching the PBS sandwich show yesterday, unbeknownst to each other. Those reality shows make me absolutely sick, especially the ones with bimbos who backstab each other to get some loser guy--women like that give the rest of us a bad rep.

Bloodsuckers beware of Malawi--the vamp patrols are out.

bipolar meter: 8

Had a fantastically fun weekend in DC, despite being roofied on Thursday night (or so the theory goes--Jenn and I were so messed up on Friday that it seemed the only plausible explanation. The large number of margaritas and beers we consumed couldn't be responsible).

bipolar meter: 7

It snows here every day. Every day. Every single day. If only I liked to ski more. I still haven't gone since my MCL-tearing fall on St. Patrick's Day 2000. Skiing is almost mandatory at this point.

bipolar meter: 7.9999999999

Wooo, I love the 01/02/03! I find it oddly cool.

New Year's was so much fun, I usually dread it but it was great. Mellow, good music, fun people, no visits to the dark place, and I got to wear sneakers! Catherine lent me her cat shirt so I could embrace my status as a woman living alone with her crazy cat. It's strange, but I suddenly feel great about my life. Made some resolutions (which I never do) and I am going to stick with them. The hardest one: stop biting my nails.

Anyway, I am currently planning my spring break with the chickies, so if anyone has suggestions, please let me know. In order to be acceptable to all, it must include lying on the beach, booze, and some element of culture. Ibiza anyone?